It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
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It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
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