I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize