I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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