I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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