also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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