i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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