Nicole vs. Life
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There's always time for handjobs
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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