There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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