Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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