I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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