when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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