Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize