There was a lot of him and a little penis
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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