u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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