Your tits are I can't wait for
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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