I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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