a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
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I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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