Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize