Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was like his penis was on wheels.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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