Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
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I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
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You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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