I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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