is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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