Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I supernannyed him into submission
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize