TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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