Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
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I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
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Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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