Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize