If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
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he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
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Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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