Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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