I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize