I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
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Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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