i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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