Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize