no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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