Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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