Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize