Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You work out of a Hotel?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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