I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
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One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
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You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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