The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
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Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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