her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize