You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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