Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize