my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize