i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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