he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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