the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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