We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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