did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize