I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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