The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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