shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
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He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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